Finding Your Purpose Before Dating
I was reading my bible the other day and came across a passage in Genesis that made me reflect on why it is so important that we have our own individual purpose in life as we begin pursuing another person. The passage was found in Genesis 4 and it says “After Cain killed Abel (Genesis 4:8) God punished him by making him a “restless wanderer on the earth” (4:12)Cain said to the Lord “My punishment is more than I can bear” (4:13).”
What struck me with this passage is that his punishment was something we as adults strive for all the time; VACATIONS. We basically work hard to go and be wanderers on the earth, travellers, not working or doing anything with our hands but just resting and taking time to wander the earth, and explore God’s creation.
We often see people on our social media highlight reels people who travel and wander the earth, exploring from place to place and don’t appear to be doing anything else. So now why did Cain say that becoming a restless wanderer was more than he could bear. He wasn’t in physical pain, or agony? He wasn’t dying? He still had food so why was this punishment so severe? It’s because we are born on purpose for a purpose. We aren’t meant to be restless wanderers on this earth. It’s important that you are finding your purpose before dating.
Over the past few years I have seen it happen time and time again. People have lost jobs, gotten laid off, lost family members and friends, businesses went under due to covid, and so much more. They feel they have ultimately lost a sense of their purpose. We saw a lot of this happen during covid – those who found new purpose, started businesses, or found something to put their hands to during covid, they thrived during that time and those that didn’t really struggled with it.
Finding your purpose before dating allows us to be chasing our individual purpose instead of chasing someone else as a purpose that is when we become stagnant and when we feel lost, anxious or stressed out. We start putting our value into being with this person instead of putting our value into the God who created us and what He created us to do and who to be.
I myself have done this many times where I have stepped into a relationship and expected the other person to now be my ultimate purpose in life. I wrapped my whole life around them, spending all my time with them and forgetting about everything else. I had lost myself in my relationships, my sense of vision, goals or purpose because ultimately I wanted to give all my time and energy into this person who I thought was my end all be all.
But the truth is the best relationships are achieved by living out God’s purpose and plans for your life, and letting that something else help the relationship. If you are only living for each other and aren’t striving after the purpose God has called you to, you will expect the other person to fill voids in your life that only God can fill. So keep finding your purpose before dating.
We were made for a purpose. Let God be in the driver seat and show you the purpose he has placed on your life.
Finding your purpose before dating is ultimately finding out who you are and what God has called you to be in this one short life we have to live.
Written By Michelle Apples
Check out The Christian Singles Hub website for information on Christian matchmaking, Christian speed dating, upcoming Christian retreats, events, trips and so much more at https://thechristiansingleshub.com/
Good stuff.
A lot of this stuff will sound boring and mundane, but many important things are.
Paul himself said that (generally speaking) single people will be less distracted. The single “season” is a great time to work on all the stressful things like an education, a career, and building up your finances. Or learning more about finances and budgeting, if necessary.That stuff is stressful enough on your own. It’ll only be more stressful once a spouse and kids enter the mix. And besides, the family of your future spouse will certainly want to know if you have the ability and resources to provide for their offspring. If you want them to bless the match (and help pay for the wedding, as they often do), it’s wise to “show them the money.” And, if you’re in premarital counseling as a couple, they’ll likely ask you if you can afford to get married. When they do ask that, you’ll need a better answer than “we love each other.” Don’t just show your future in-laws and premarital counselors that you want to provide for your spouse. Show them that you actually have the ability and resources to do it. That’s a great gift you can give to your future in-laws.
Love is great, but love doesn’t pay the bills. But, love should motivate you to figure out a way to pay the bills.
That aside, it’s always attractive in the dating scene to be someone with purpose, resources, and potential. Dating is all about evaluation, and these things are all important things to consider.
I know this article isn’t strictly about marital finances, but I do think some of the same principles apply.
On another basic level, if you’re someone who’s just coasting along and confused, you may not be an attractive prospect to the opposite sex.
Dating is all about evaluation. Typically, on a first date, you’ll be asked about your life and how you spend your time. If you struggle to answer those questions, or your answers sound a little boring, or make it it may come off as a red flag to the other person.
A lot of first dates collapse because of awkwardness. Sometimes this awkwardness comes directly from us trying to “spin” a mundane or aimless lifestyle into something more interesting than it really is. People can ask deep questions on dates, and they should. It’s good to prepare real answers, answers that are honest.
So, yeah, having a vision for your life, and having a fruitful and interesting lifestyle is in some ways foundational to dating