How many of us have said, “I’ll feel better once I get into a relationship?” “Once I meet my spouse and have kids, I’ll be fine.” “I can’t lose this person. Where will that leave me?” Is it just me or are some of us, as singles, trying to find our identity in a relationship?
Why? Where did this mindset come from? Why do some of us rely on someone else to tell us who we are? To dictate our feelings. As believers, we know our identity is in Christ. He is our source. There’s no need to look to others for validation.
Some of us have made that mistake before, myself included. Our confidence wasn’t strong, so perhaps we tied ourselves to someone who wasn’t healthy. They gave us all the “feelings,” but there was no substance to the relationship. Or maybe they were worthwhile, but not God’s will, leaving us heartbroken.
So why is a breakup so devastating? Why do our feelings get so involved in the early stages of dating instead of taking our time? I think for some of us, the desire for marriage is so strong, we lose ourselves in the excitement and romance. We want it to happen, so we fully throw ourselves into the relationship. What’s sad is when things don’t work out, you’re devastated.
Don’t get me wrong. It’s okay to be excited. Dating should be fun. It’s the stage before you decide to even be in a relationship. Feel the feelings, yes, but are they controlling you? Are you attaching yourself too quickly only to be disappointed?
What I can tell you is your worth comes from the Lord. You’re made in the image of God. His very breath is on the inside of you. Find your foundation in Him. Not a relationship or marriage. So what can you do? How do you keep your focus when dating so you don’t lose yourself in another person?
One, keep spending time with God. He’ll give you wisdom. Two, take things one date at a time. Don’t rush from zero to a thousand. Three, release your expectations. The outcome is out of your control, because the other person has to be involved too. You can’t force them to want what you want. Four, whatever happens, remember you’re still amazing! If things don’t work out, God hasn’t left you behind. He only wants to give you what’s best for you.
Trust Him. He is your focus. Stay in His Word. Commune with Him in His presence.
Your single season is crucial. How healthy are you on your own? Are you secure in who God has made you to be? If someone rejected you today, would that crush you? Sure, it would sting. I get it, but would your life be over? Or would you realize, “okay. They’re not a right fit for me, but that has nothing to do with my worth. I trust God with my future.”
Do you love you? Embrace the person God has called you to be. When you rely on Him as your source, the opinions of others will have less power.
Check out The Christian Singles Hub website for information on Christian matchmaking, Christian speed dating, upcoming Christian retreats, events, trips and so much more at https://thechristiansingleshub.com/
Written by Daria White Osah
You can find Daria Here:
Devotional https://www.amazon.com/Dear-Younger-Me-Devotional-Personal-ebook/dp/B09QRKBRGB/
Her podcast Single Plus https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/singleplus & on Instagram @mysingleplus
