“I’m tired. I don’t know what to do, and I’m angry at God.” The first time I was angry at God was in 2005. My family and I had prayed for three years for Him to heal my maternal grandfather. He’d been sick, and while there were hopes of him getting better, it was never a full recovery.
Then I remember my dad picking up my sisters and me from school. It felt random to me to leave school early, but I went along. I got out of the car only to see my older sister bawling her eyes out. I asked, “Why is she crying?” My dad said, “Your grandfather passed.”
I was angry at God. I recalled all the sermons and teachings I had heard of Him being faithful to His promises and being a healer. Where was that when I needed Him the most? I was so angry that I didn’t pray for two months straight. In my own way, I was protesting, but even at fourteen years old, I knew I couldn’t go any longer without talking to God.
Finally, I broke down. Cried my eyes out on my knees in my closet. I was pretty bold because I demanded God to answer me. I was broken. Hurt and confused. I asked, “Why didn’t you heal my grandfather? After all these years of praying, why didn’t you heal him?” His reply is something I’ll never forget. I heard this clearly at fourteen years old. “I did heal him. Just not the way you wanted me to.”
Why am I telling you this Christian Singles? I know some of you are angry. You may not admit it, but you thought life would turn out differently. You thought you’d be better off financially. By now, you thought your business would take off. Plus, you thought you’d be married with children by now.
Instead, perhaps your finances are struggling. Your business is taking longer to catch people’s attention. You’re tired of the dating apps. If one more person ghosts you, you may blow a fuse. If you go on one more date that doesn’t lead to the relationship you want, you think you might as well give up.
Why did I call this “Take me to the King?” It’s based on a song by Tamela Mann. The basis of the song is, I need to be at the feet of Jesus when life is hitting me hard. I need His voice over the suggestions of others. Leave me at the throne so I can hear what He has to say. Of course, there’s community and the Godly counsel of friends, but there are times I need to be alone with Jesus.
I need Him to reassure me. I need to get into His presence distraction free. Until I get a breakthrough, I need to turn on worship music and pray. I need to be with the King because no one else can help me. Even now I hear the hymn, “I must tell Jesus.” Only Jesus can bear the weight of what’s burdening my heart. Only Jesus can bring relief to my soul.
For those of you who are angry, discouraged, confused, I encourage you to still run to the King and be refreshed. You may not leave with an immediate solution, but you will have peace. Allow Him into those hard places. He can handle it all.
Check out The Christian Singles Hub website for information on Christian matchmaking, Christian speed dating, upcoming Christian retreats, events, trips and so much more at https://thechristiansingleshub.com/
Written by Daria White Osah
You can find Daria Here:
Devotional https://www.amazon.com/Dear-Younger-Me-Devotional-Personal-ebook/dp/B09QRKBRGB/
Her podcast Single Plus https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/singleplus & on Instagram @mysingleplus
