Are you tired of the constant cycle of rejection and disappointment in the dating scene? I understand how discouraging it can be, but let me share some insights that I hope will encourage you.
It’s disheartening when I see social media comments like, “There are good guys out there, but they don’t want me.” Trust me, I’ve been there too, and it can feel like a heavy weight. But remember, God is in control, even when it seems like everything is falling apart.
Let’s face it, the dating journey can be challenging. Maybe you invested six months into a relationship, only to have the other person change their mind and walk away. Perhaps you’ve been single all your life, and you’re starting to wonder if it will always be this way. Or maybe you’re dealing with the aftermath of a divorce or the loss of a spouse, something you never imagined would happen. And let’s not forget coparenting, where the person you thought you’d marry has let you down with their lack of commitment.
I wish I had all the answers for you, but here’s what I do know: God is sovereign. He sees the bigger picture, even when we can’t. It’s possible that our own choices led us to where we are, but that’s not always the case.
Think about Job, who was blameless and lost everything. Consider Joseph, falsely accused and thrown into prison. Then there’s David, a man after God’s own heart. He made mistakes that brought dire consequences upon his family. Whether we’re responsible or not, God knows how to turn our situations around.
I get it, waiting can feel like an eternity. Years may have passed, and you may have poured your heart into spiritual and personal growth without seeing any results. But here’s the truth: God can be trusted. Don’t let negative thoughts rule your life, and don’t give the enemy a foothold to make you doubt God’s intentions for you.
Whenever negativity creeps in, challenge it. If it doesn’t align with God’s Word, reject it. I’ve adopted a mantra that helps me: “No, I’m not going to think that.” And if those negative thoughts persist, immerse yourself in God’s Word. Listen to an encouraging sermon, play your favorite worship songs, or simply repeat affirmations outloud that align with the truth of Scripture.
Remember, God is for you. Never forget that. Even when it feels like you’re alone in your singleness, know that He is with you every step of the way. All things work together for our good, even the painful experiences we endure.
Check out The Christian Singles Hub website for information on Christian matchmaking, Christian speed dating, upcoming Christian retreats, christian singles events, trips and so much more at https://thechristiansingleshub.com/
Written by Daria White Osah
You can find Daria Here:
Devotional https://www.amazon.com/Dear-Younger-Me-Devotional-Personal-ebook/dp/B09QRKBRGB/
Her podcast Single Plus https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/singleplus
& on Instagram @mysingleplus
Obviously, I don’t have all the answers, either. So I’m not sure we can definitvely say that God always has some sort of “plan” when people deal with unwanted singleness. People say this so confidently, too.
We live in a bad world, where bad things happen and life doesn’t always go our way. Just because something happened doesn’t mean it was God’s will. Just because you’re currently single doesn’t mean it’s God’s will.
I think we sometimes have bad motives for attributing out current single status to “God’s will.” For instance:
-Rejection is always painful. If we ascribe it to “God’s will,” then it eases the pain somewhat. It also makes it easier to ignore my own flaws that could be worked on.
-We don’t like dealing with our own insecurities, or sins, or shortcoming, so we push it off to God instead of ourselves.
-We’re scared, and this is a way to avoid facing the fear.
-And, perhaps, most importantly, we as Christians often over-spiritualize everything.To the point where any action we take on our own is us being too “worldly” and “impatient” and not “allowing God to work”
Is any of this stuff helpful? No, right? We certainly don’t approach other life situations this way, like a job search. Or personal goals like weight loss. “Eh, no need to work out, or eat better. Just pray about it. After all, if it’s God’s will for me to be ten pounds lighter, well, He’ll make it happen in His timing, not mine.” Sounds silly, doesn’t it?
Sure, God gives us some guidance when it comes to marriage. But i’m skeptical about how much He really involves Himself in the details. At some point, we have to make decisions and take action when it comes to dating. Just like any other part of life.
Something else people will tell you a lot of the time is that if you’re currently single, then that’s “God’s best for you” right now. We have no way of knowing this. So any current situation you’re in right now is God’s best? Just because something’s currently happening doesn’t make it’s “God’s best” (or God’s fault) me being single doesn’t necessarily mean that God “has me there.” It could be be the result of past msitakes and bad decisions. Those things also have an effect on our lives, certainly.
Generally, there’s more Christian girls than there are guys. If that’s the case, it means not every girl will be able to find a mate. Is that part of “God’s plan” too?
God’s will can be hard to determine, yes—not that it’s bad to try,necessarily. We should be careful with assuming that just because I am somewhere, then that means that is where Go wants me.