listened to a sermon over the weekend and it talked about how the Israelites complained about God. God responded with, “those twenty years old and up will die in the wilderness. Everything you complained about will happen to you. The exceptions will be Joshua and Caleb.” Basically, they sealed their own fate. Their words gave up their destiny, which was the Promised Land. A generation died off because of complaining.
This made me think about singles, especially Christian Singles. I won’t lie to you. Complaints have left my mouth during my time of singleness. I’m sure you can think of a time you shared with friends, or wrote a long post about it on social media, seeking for someone to understand your loneliness.
We will have moments. Yes, we know singleness is a gift, but it has its challenges. Some worry, “am I going to be alone forever? Who’s going to take care of me when I get old? Will I ever find the right one for me? Everyone has found someone, and it looks like I’m the last one standing.” Other singles may feel, “I’m past forty. Will this ever happen to me?”
First, I want to say I hear your heart and so does God. While it’s okay to cast our burdens on Him and be honest in our prayers, we have to be careful that we don’t repeat the Israelites’ mistakes. How? They didn’t just voice a complaint. It became a habit. Check out their story in the Bible. They always found something to complain about!
Let’s relate this to singleness by giving two examples. First up, we have Single A. Single A has never been on a date, and always seems to be put in the friend zone. They have the qualities of an amazing spouse, but it hasn’t happened. Single A has been at 10 weddings, celebrating others, but it’s never been them. How does Single A respond? They want to be married, but over the years they’ve become bitter. They don’t voice it, but they’re angry at God. He left them behind, right?
Single A, “I guess I’ll never get married. I’m going to end up alone for the rest of my life. I’ve been to 10 weddings and nothing’s happening to me. Really? One couple I know was together for six years, but they still got married. What’s wrong with me? Maybe I did something in my past because God is punishing me now. Maybe I shouldn’t have done things God’s way. At least I would have had more fun. Maybe this is a lost cause. Might as well give up trying.”
Do you hear anger here? Resentment. Even hurt. I do, but let’s evaluate for a moment. Where’s the focus for Single A? The problem, which for them is singleness.
Now let’s meet Single B. Single B has dated before. They’ve been in a few relationships but have never been married. They’ve been ghosted. Lied to, and even cheated on. They’ve seen many engagement posts on social media and have been invited to be in a friend’s upcoming wedding.
It discouraged Single B. They’d rather not watch another couple exchange vows, but they go anyway to support. They could complain, but they choose not to. How do they respond when disappointed?
Single B, “Lord, I don’t know why you have me here in singleness for this long, but I believe you know my desires and in due time you’ll bring them to pass. I’ll admit, it’s difficult to watch others go before me, but I refuse to believe you’ve left me behind. Help me keep growing in this season. Perhaps you want my undivided attention and I need to work on something now while solo. I know I’ll have weak moments and will get discouraged, but help me lean into your presence even more. If no one else loves me on this earth, you still love me more than they ever could! Help me Jesus. This is tough, but I trust you. Help me find joy now, realizing singleness is just as much of a gift as marriage is.”
Who do you relate to more? Single A or B? I’ve been both. I was mostly A for a long time, but I’ve discovered the more I focus on what I don’t have, the more I cannot see what God is doing now! Yes, be honest with God and yourself about this season. Don’t bury your feelings, but I encourage you. Don’t make it a lifestyle to complain about your singleness or anything else.
Is it possible blessings have been delayed because of our lack of patience? Trust in God’s timing? Has marriage become an idol? I don’t know, but what I can tell you is He’s always on time. Our Heavenly Father misses nothing. He never comes up short. So when you’re tempted to complain, choose gratitude instead. He’s still God, and He’s taking care of you.
Check out The Christian Singles Hub website for information on Christian matchmaking, Christian speed dating, upcoming Christian retreats, events, trips and so much more at https://thechristiansingleshub.com/
Written by Daria White Osah
You can find Daria Here:
Devotional https://www.amazon.com/Dear-Younger-Me-Devotional-Personal-ebook/dp/B09QRKBRGB/
Her podcast Single Plus https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/singleplus & on Instagram @mysingleplus
