I recently saw a post on social media about a woman who said she wouldn’t consider dating a man unless he liked tacos and classical music. Like you might be doing right now, I raised my eyebrows. Sure, these were her interests, and she has the right to have them, but I couldn’t help but wonder about the good, Godly men she was discounting because they didn’t meet her specific expectations.
Before you judge her too quickly, all of us, myself included before I got married, have put God in a box at some point. We all have these preferences and ideas about what we want in a spouse, and when someone doesn’t measure up, we write them off completely. I’d dare ask, are your preferences keeping you single?
With all these dating apps, we sometimes treat dating like we’re shopping for regular items. Sadly, we pass over potential matches simply because they don’t look like we think they should. This isn’t to condemn but to challenge: Are we truly seeing people the way Jesus intends? This doesn’t negate the importance of physical attraction, but too many Christian singles depend solely on outer appearance. They don’t consider the “fruit” of a person.
The most attractive person in the world could be reckless with finances, lack a prayer life, and be unable to pray for you. They might not value who you really are and only care about their rights and needs. Does this sound like someone you want to spend your life with? Of course not. So, let’s check our motives and, most importantly, open ourselves to what God wants to do in our love lives.
Proverbs 19:21 (NKJV) says, “There are many plans in a man’s heart, nevertheless the Lord’s counsel that will stand.” There’s nothing wrong with having preferences, but are we so rigid with them that we shut down other possibilities? I encourage you to have an open hand with God. You’d be surprised at how He wants to blow your mind.
I wrote down a note in my prayer journal based on Proverbs 19:21: “The Lord’s purpose for me is good, regardless of whether my plans come through or not.” I encourage you to adopt this mentality. Trust your plans to the Lord, believing He only has good things for you and your future.
It’s easy to get caught up in the idea of a perfect match who ticks all our boxes. But what if God’s best for us doesn’t fit our preconceived notions? What if we’re missing out on incredible people because we’re too focused on the superficial? Let’s ask ourselves: Are our standards rooted in God’s truth, or are they shaped by societal expectations and personal whims?
Remember, God’s ways are higher than our ways. He sees the bigger picture. When we surrender our dating lives to Him, we open the door to unexpected blessings. That doesn’t mean we lower our standards, but it does mean we shift our focus from external qualities to the heart and character of a person.
Let’s pray for discernment to recognize a Godly spouse who may not fit our initial preferences but is perfectly suited for us in ways we can’t yet see. Let’s be open to His guidance and trust that He knows what we need better than we do. So, let’s hold our preferences loosely and trust God completely. You might be surprised at the incredible love story He has written just for you.
Written by Daria White Osah
Check out The Christian Singles Hub website for information on Christian matchmaking, Christian speed dating, upcoming Christian retreats, events, trips and so much more at https://thechristiansingleshub.com/
You can find Daria Here:
Devotional https://www.amazon.com/Dear-Younger-Me-Devotional-Personal-ebook/dp/B09QRKBRGB/
Her podcast Single Plus https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/singleplus
& on Instagram @mysingleplus
