Here’s Why You Should Date Someone Who Isn’t Your Type
As a Matchmaker people come to me with a list of criteria they are looking for in another person. Height, Race, Career, Education Level, Geographical Location, Physique, and the list goes on. You honestly wouldn’t even want to know the lists of “criteria” I have gotten from people.
why is it so important to go outside of our type? Well most of the time types are build out of psychopathology. People often construct the type of person they are gonna fall in love with (yet they don’t even know that person). It is a fantasy to make up for unresolved issues inside of you. This can stem from so many different things such as family values, culture, media or our environment, cultures, and even what someone saw growing up. Most of the time these things are subconscious and we don’t even know why we are attracted to this “type” of person because we don’t actually do the work to know this information.
I would encourage you to date someone who isn’t your type, and not be in the mindset of this is my future spouse, but instead look for a meaningful social interaction with another human being . When you do this and get to know another person things start to shift- your type starts to develop differently. You learn more about yourself, more about other humans, more about connection, and you start to look past the box that is developed in your head of what you are attracted to.
When you date someone who isn’t your type, this helps us to reconstruct our type.
With limited experience there is limited capacity to understand what you are looking for, and even if you do have dating experience you may have only dated a “specific type” before and that is still limited experience. If you had never eaten mexican food, how do you know you don’t like mexican food? The same is true about dating. If we have only ever dated a specific type than how do we know that this is what is best for us.
If you are going through the same cycles in dating of things never working out, or maybe when you date they all lead to situationships rather than actual relationships, then I would suggest to date someone who isn’t your type.
Change your mentality of dating.
The more you get to know types of people the more you grow as a person, and you get to know yourself. This starts to evolve your type. We don’t ever go live in the first apartment we look at or buy the first car we see. We observe, we make calculated decisions, we pin point what we like/don’t like. That is why we date before marriage, to be able to make the best informed decision of who God’s best is for us so date someone who isn’t your type, but rather God’s type for us.
I can honestly say 90% of people I have set up and gone on to have successful relationships have said this is not what I thought would be the “type” of person I thought I would be with which is why I think this is why it is crucial if we are wanting to have successful relationships that lead to marriage than we also need to do the same.
Start taking this approach to date someone who isn’t your type, and you will not only meet some fantastic people, but ultimately you will end up more whole in the long run when you do find that person because you won’t be dating an idea, but a person.
Written By Michelle Apples
Check out The Christian Singles Hub website for information on Christian matchmaking, Christian speed dating, upcoming Christian retreats, events, trips and so much more at https://thechristiansingleshub.com/
