As Christian singles, we’re told to “guard our hearts.” Even the Bible says so because “out of it are the issues of life,” Proverbs 4:23. God knows how tender the heart is and if we’re not careful, we can be deceived or, worse, deceive ourselves. What if your heart’s been broken? Betrayed? Disappointed? You don’t want to be fooled anymore, so you say, “I’m never going through that again.”
Next thing you know, you close yourself off from new relationships. You suspect anyone new who comes into your life because of what your ex did. Your mind is already playing the “what if marathon,” creating scenarios in your head of this new person letting you down. You’re triggered by a phrase or a situation similar to your past. Then you say, “I knew it! They’re just like ___.”
Is this true, though? Is this guarding your heart? It sounds more like a wall to me. How do I know? I’ve done it, but the things about walls are sure you keep things out, but nothing can get in either. Perhaps you’re thinking, “I’m just tired of being hurt, so I’m protecting myself.”
Well, let’s think of it this way. As a child of God, don’t you think Holy Spirit will warn you if something is not right? Isn’t He our ultimate protector? If you’re thinking, “Yes, but I still got hurt,” well is it because you didn’t listen to His warnings? Were you rationalizing the truth when you knew deep down God was nudging you to leave your ex alone? To not rush into your past relationship? Is God really responsible if you ignored His still small voice because your flesh was louder?
You wanted to change your Facebook status? You wanted to show that you were valuable because now you were in a relationship? Or maybe those weren’t your motives. Perhaps you made an honest mistake because you thought you had something promising and it didn’t work out.
I’m here to tell you to forgive yourself. We’ve all assumed the best about someone, only to be disappointed in the end. I will remind you, though, not to put your sole trust in a person or a relationship. God is the one and only whom you should give your heart to. It’s beautiful to share your heart with another person, but He should always come first.
So if you’re in a space of, “I don’t want to get hurt again,” take those wounds back to the feet of Jesus. He’s willing to heal and help through this tough season. Don’t rush it, and when it gets hard, ask Him to help you push through to get to the other side.
We’re not meant to wall or close ourselves off. God wants your heart to remain tender and pliable, not calloused. He can’t mold you into His image if you’re stubborn and obstinate. Let Him in and allow His love to wash away the things that hurt you. Once you’re healed, however long that takes, then you’ll be able to guard your heart.
Guarding means you’re monitoring. You’re open to new things without allowing your past to dictate your present. You’re using discernment now because you’re in tune with your Heavenly Father’s voice. You want His approval. Even when things don’t work out, you’re still able to say, “My heart belongs to you, Jesus. For now and always.”
So don’t give up on your dating life. Use wisdom, yes, but don’t write off what God can do. Be willing. Be open. You never know how He’ll bless you.
Check out The Christian Singles Hub website for information on Christian matchmaking, Christian speed dating, upcoming Christian retreats, events, trips and so much more at https://thechristiansingleshub.com/
Written by Daria White Osah
You can find Daria Here:
Devotional https://www.amazon.com/Dear-Younger-Me-Devotional-Personal-ebook/dp/B09QRKBRGB/
Her podcast Single Plus https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/singleplus & on Instagram @mysingleplus
