Limited Human Insight
When dating we truly have limited human insight into the person who is sitting across from us. and recently I have been reflecting lately on the criteria that people come to me with when looking for a life partner.
This morning I stumbled upon 2nd Corinthians 5:16 (Passion Translation) it says “So then, from now on, we have a new perspective that refuses to evaluate people merely by their outward appearances. For that’s how we once viewed the Anointed One, but no longer do we see him with limited human insight.”
Instead of looking at the outer appearance the more important question that must be answered about each person is their character. Character will last a lot longer than outward appearance. While every person is valuable, and worthwhile, their value is not found in physical things or worldly wealth, which is what we seem to look for these days.
In my opinion it is important to have 3 lists when it comes to dating{Criteria, Preferences, & Non Negotiable}
Criteria are things that I need to have: This could be in regards to lifestyle, alignment, character, morals etc
Preferences are things I would like to have: this could be in regards to looks, height, and other things that ultimately are more surface level things
Non Negotiables are things that I will not tolerate, and their are no exceptions. such as faith, values, morals etc
and although I do think these are important in order to have vision for your future spouse, can I encourage you all for a moment to stop looking at merely outwardly appearances. Outward appearances fade, go away, change. When looking for a spouse we need to look at the things that will stand the test of time such as character, how someone treats people, the fruit in their lives.
Let’s stop looking at what race they will be, their hair colour, eye color, weight, body type, occupation, personality + everything else in between. Nobody is going to check off all the things on your list. By looking for characteristics rather than looking at people we prematurely accept or reject potential partners based on traits that might wind up being unimportant if we actually got to know them. It’s more possible than not that the person you will end up being most attracted to will differ than what is currently on your list.
When you free yourself from being so rigidly attached to your list, you find someone you connect with on an emotional, intellectual, practical, and spiritual level. Which is the foundation of real, unconditional love.
Written By Michelle Apples
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