Top 10 Long Distance Relationship Tips
Let’s talk about Long Distance Relationships and so many of you asked for notes on it because it was something you are currently navigating or thinking about.
In the past year I have seen people more open than ever to being in long distance relationships.
So what are the pro’s and cons of Long Distance Relationships and how do you navigate healthy long distance relationships well?
Here are my Top 10 Long Distance Relationship Tips
Long Distance Relationship Tips #1 First off, communication is vital, but over communicating can be troublesome. You don’t have to communicate 12 hours a day to keep the relationship going. Many think that they need to compensate for the distance by doing more, but it can lead to things getting stale really quickly. Instead of over communication try communicating more intentionally, putting aside time to really talk to them with zero distractions.
Also you have to factor in communication styles. Some people hate video calls where other people love it. Take time to figure out the right communication style for both of you.
Long Distance Relationship Tips #2 When you are first getting to know someone it’s great to progress into the conversation rather then jumping from 0 (the first message) to 100 ( a video call), try taking baby steps – first text, then maybe send audio messages, exchange photos back and forth, get on a phone call then go to video calls. This way things progress as they would in a natural organic relationship and then you both won’t get bored so quickly by constantly switching it up.
Long Distance Relationship Tips #3 Factor in talking about potential moves early on but in a natural way. Asking questions such as where do you see yourself in 5 years? What are your career goals? If you could live anywhere, where would you live? Helps to address the issue but in a non pressure way. I have gotten on some of the worst calls which the other person is basically talking at me to see if I fit into the mold they want in a spouse – and it is a huge turn off.
But that being said having your own end goal in mind is so important. Are you flexible to move, or are you not? Making sure you are on the same page is so important, but being self aware is most important.
Long Distance Relationship Tips #4 Be upfront and honest if you have kids, been previously divorced or any potential deal breakers you may have – at the end of the day if that’s a deal breaker for them, then that is ok and they are probably just not your person.
Long Distance Relationship Tips #5 Long distance can be great because it allows you to intentionally get to know someone without the pressure of boundaries, you get to ask deeper questions, really get to know someone’s character, their heart and who they are. That being said relationships do tend to progress quicker and move a-lot faster than in person. See long distance as an opportunity to really get to know someone based on character and values.
Long Distance Relationship Tips #6 You need to be creative when doing long distance or it can often feel like you aren’t getting what you need. For example plan some fun virtual date nights – cook together, paint together, play games online etc.
This makes you feel like you are still “dating” and gestures go along way – getting something delivered, sending flowers, ordering them dinner. These days you can get anything delivered in a record time so take advantage of the fact you aren’t having to spend 100’s of dollars on dates and do small gestures to make the other person feel that they are still appreciated.
Long Distance Relationship Tips #7 Set realistic expectations with each other early on and be transparent about it. Do they live far or close? How often are you going to be able to see each other? financially- what does this look like? These conversations can be hard, but are absolutely necessary so that is doesn’t end up feeling like a burden to one party if they are always having to pay for trips or always the only one making the effort based on their schedule?
Long Distance Relationship Tips #8 And that being said – don’t be afraid of conflict, but be careful how you address it. Text messaging is the worst way to deal with conflict because you cannot hear tone, or see the person so ensuring that you aren’t texting your problems but getting on a phone call or FaceTime to be able to talk about mis communication.
Long Distance Relationship Tips #9 Don’t get spiritually connected too soon or too fast. This means don’t vulnerably and intimately pray over one another, or really anythign that may get you spiritually attached to someone. Sometimes that spiritual connection can be a mask and not allow you to see the red flags.
Long Distance Relationship Tips #10 Be prepared to work hard, and put in extra effort but to get to know someone in a deeper way than you ever have before. Long distance is challenging but worth it – just ensure you are able to communicate needs effectively and timely.
Written By Michelle Apples
Check out The Christian Singles Hub website for information on Christian matchmaking, Christian speed dating, upcoming Christian retreats, events, trips and so much more at https://thechristiansingleshub.com/
