I’ve heard both terms used in dating. How can you tell the difference between a God-centered relationship and one that’s not? Even if the person isn’t toxic, how do you determine if you should move forward?
Let’s start with the first one. Peace. I’ve heard couples say, “There was a peace I never experienced before. That’s how I knew. Things naturally flowed.” Now this doesn’t negate that relationships aren’t perfect. Even with the right person, you’ll need to show unconditional love, grace, and forgiveness.
However, I agree in there being alignment. Are you moving in a similar direction even if your callings in the Kingdom are different? One may be a doctor and the other a teacher, but is there agreement? Are you moving towards the same goals in life? How can you walk together unless you do, even if you do like each other?
Though I will add that we need to be careful with saying, “I have a peace.” Sometimes we may justify our wants and say it’s God’s peace, but deep down we know it’s not. I’ve done that and things didn’t end well. You want the true peace of God. So again, I encourage you to have such intimacy with Jesus yourself that you know what’s Him and what’s not.
This leads into the next one. Clarity. I can’t tell you how many times a past relationship left me confused. We didn’t have a destination. Where were we going? I either heard, “I don’t know,” or “Why do we have to put titles on everything?”
To the first one, I’ll answer, “If you don’t know where you’re going, how can I help you get there?” To the second? No answer required since this response usually aims to deflect the conversation, anyway. So, we’re not on the same page. Now this is not advocating rushing into anything. Yes, know what you want, but there should be clarity on both sides.
If the other person communicates what they want or don’t want, see if it lines up with your needs and values. If so, great, but if not, don’t be afraid to accept the truth and walk away. It doesn’t mean your standards are too high. It just may mean that person is not graced for you.
Have you heard that phrase? I’ll never forget when I heard it in a teaching for singles almost two years ago. It simply means we’ll never be perfect, but God can put someone in your life that can handle what your life entails. Your past. Your calling. Your flaws. They’re graced for you.
They’ll cover you in prayer, speak the truth in love, and speak life into you, realizing you’re called for more. The things you never thought you could trust someone with, they’ll be a shoulder for you. I do not limit this to romantic relationships either. God knows how to bring the right people into your life for all seasons.
So, do you have peace and clarity in dating? Not a peace you made up, but the peace that passes all understanding. Even if there are things that need to be worked out, both of you trust God has your future secure.
Last, clarity. Don’t live in confusion or be the one to confuse someone else. If things aren’t a right fit or you’re going in different directions, kindly communicate this and move aside. So as you date, steward peace and lead with clarity.
Check out The Christian Singles Hub website for information on Christian matchmaking, Christian speed dating, upcoming Christian retreats, events, trips and so much more at https://thechristiansingleshub.com/
Written by Daria White Osah
You can find Daria Here:
Devotional https://www.amazon.com/Dear-Younger-Me-Devotional-Personal-ebook/dp/B09QRKBRGB/
Her podcast Single Plus https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/singleplus & on Instagram @mysingleplus
