We’ve all been there. You thought dating them would lead to a relationship. You hoped once in a relationship you’d get engaged. It didn’t work. Now you’re heartbroken. Perhaps you have been through divorce and feel like damaged goods.
I can’t tell you the reason relationships don’t work out. Why do some put on a mask, making you believe they’re genuine and they’re not? I wish I knew. Can I tell you something? Your heart as a believer belongs first to Jesus Christ. While it’s amazing to share your heart with someone, you shouldn’t fully depend on them not to hurt you. They’re human, and even the right person for you will make mistakes.
While this topic can go many ways, I want to talk to those who’ve been disappointed that the relationship didn’t lead to marriage. Why did they walk away, or why did you get the nudge from Holy Spirit to call things off? I’ve learned some breakups are necessary.
I can only speak for myself. There were a few relationships in my past I thought would lead to marriage. Unfortunately, they did not and when I look back on it now; I see why. I’ll give a couple of examples.
The second guy I dated was toxic. I didn’t know it because of infatuation. I compromised. Being wrapped up in the thrill, I silenced the truth. Thank God when I came to my senses, I called things off, but it didn’t erase the damage done. So, the breakup was necessary.
To give a more recent example, I talked to a guy prior to the pandemic. This was different since he was a Christian and we had amazing conversations about God and the Word. What went wrong here? You’d think we were equally yoked, right? No, we weren’t. While he was a believer, God revealed to me this man was using me as a nurse. He was running to me instead of God. The feeling of being needed was nice, but soon I realized, only God can give him what he needed. I had to step aside, and while it was hard because of my feelings for him, I obeyed. It was necessary.
God knows what’s best for you, even when you think something is going well. That’s why time is our friend and we can’t rush commitment. You could commit to nursing someone for life, with them seeing you as a safety net instead of God. Or it could be toxic and you think that’s all you deserve. So you put up with the minimum and say, “at least they don’t __.” What have you said “at least to”? Breaking up in these cases is necessary.
I know it’s hard to walk away. I’ve been there. I know your hopes were high, but trust God has something better. As stated in another post, yes, marriage is beautiful. There’s romance. Fun. Adventures. Intimacy, but that’s not the sole purpose. Ask yourself this question. Can this person walk through life with you doing God’s will?
Do you clash with your callings or do they complement each other? Do they push you closer to God, or is your spiritual life parched since meeting them? Only time will tell you this, so don’t rush into a relationship, engagement, or even marriage.
I know it’s tough, but when you look back on your life, you’ll see some things were necessary. The relationship had to end. God knew deep down it would only lead to your demise. We hear, “rejection is God’s protection,” and it’s true. He loves you too much to see you go through unnecessary pain. In this life, we’ll have trouble anyway, so there’s no point in adding to the load.
Perhaps you’re thinking, I got hurt anyway. Well, know you can heal in God’s presence today. Even when we ignore His voice, we can come back with a repentant heart. Let Him heal you. Trust Him with your future, because His plans for you will always supersede what you had in mind.
Check out The Christian Singles Hub website for information on Christian matchmaking, Christian speed dating, upcoming Christian retreats, events, trips and so much more at https://thechristiansingleshub.com/
Written by Daria White Osah
You can find Daria Here:
Devotional https://www.amazon.com/Dear-Younger-Me-Devotional-Personal-ebook/dp/B09QRKBRGB/
Her podcast Single Plus https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/singleplus & on Instagram @mysingleplus
