What Is Christian Dating?
As a Christian Dating Coach and Matchmaker, I often am met with Christian Singles who don’t know how to date or who make dating a lot more complicated than it needs to be.
For many they walk into dating looking for our spouse, and although yes it is great to be intentional and to know you are ready for marriage.
What is Christian Dating? and how do we define what dating looks like? Well I believe the best way to date as a Christian is to walk into dating thinking of it as a social interaction with another human being, and not creating a false narrative in our head of what it could be.
Why?
Well for starters Jesus never sat at tables with people and put them in a category of worth my time or not worth my time, and I believe we need to believe that every person God puts in our path is worthy of our time. You may not know why God has put them in your path, but you also don’t have all the facts to know if this person is our spouse or not, and by putting this pressure on a date we often act nervous, we forget to be ourselves and we get so caught up with the thought of “does this person like me” or have this pre conceived idea of who this person is which is usually a false narrative.
So What is Christian Dating? and how do we Date better?
We should be figuring out if they are a good person, if they have good character, morals, and if their values align with ours. We need to be genuinely interested in who they are and be leaving every dating situation better than when we walked in. We as Christians are called to love our neighbours as ourselves and that does not stop when it comes to dating.
A first date is simply an interview for a second date. You may end up wanting to pursue this person, wanting to be friends with them, maybe setting them up with someone else you may know that is more aligned or you may want nothing to do with them and that is okay but as Christians we are called to a higher standard. We are called to honour and respect others and we are not called to act as the world does. What would happen if all Christians dated in a way that honoured, respected and even edified each other? There would be less weirdness, anxiousness, and hurt feelings if we did. So What is Christian Dating? It’s simply honoring what the bible says of how to treat people, and if we are too busy summing someone up to see if they are a spouse we tend to forget that they are also a child of God.
So What is Christian Dating?
We often confuse Dating with a Relationship. Dating is simply a meeting people and taking it one date at a time, there may or may not be a romantic interest but you don’t know that on a first date, but a relationship is a commitment. We need to stop walking in to dating as if we are already committing to this person. A date is not a commitment! When we go into a date with the intention of just getting to know the person in front of us we become more of ourselves, we have less anxiety with dating, we aren’t so nervous and that is simply because there is not as much at stake if the date doesn’t go well.
So what is Christian Dating? It is simply a human interaction with another person. Take the pressure off the date and simply show up curious about who God has placed in front of you. Find the great things about them and just genuinely get to know them.
Written By Michelle Apples
Check out The Christian Singles Hub website for information on Christian matchmaking, Christian speed dating, upcoming Christian retreats, events, trips and so much more at https://thechristiansingleshub.com/
Good stuff.
Dating is all about evaluation. You can put way too much pressure on yourself and someone else by immediately wondering if they’re your “future spouse.” And we do overcomplicate it, for sure. Maybe I’m being too simplistic here, but anyone can get a date…if they set their standards low enough.
Dating is tough, too. You’re taking risks, and you’ll likely get hurt at some point. Some Christians seem to have all the luck and marry the first perst person they ever dated. Of course, they then cite this as evidence that it was God’s will all along. All part of His “perfect plan.” Must be nice, lol.
On a simple level, you have to find someone with good chartacter qualities that you have chemistry with. Then you have to avoid looking to that person as a source for your fulflillment. Then you have to make sure these people have wisdom, integrity, financial stability, a godly lifestyle, etc. Then you want to make sure your intentions are clear while dating them. Then you should maintain boundaries to keep each other safe and pure. Then you need to make sure you’re both actually ready for marriage in a somewhat short time in the future.
Don’t worry! This is all super easy, barely an inconvenience! lol