Have you ever said, “They’re not my type”? I’ve been guilty of this in the past, and it’s possible I missed out on some great men because they didn’t meet my preferences. Unfortunately, I used to fall for toxic guys. The typical “bad boy” who would only hurt me in the long run. Even if he said he was Christian, his actions said otherwise. Deep down, I knew I needed to break it off, but I was blinded by my feelings and emotions.
Have you ever truly questioned your type? What’s the reason behind it? In my case, I was considered the “good girl” growing up, so dating someone the opposite of me seemed exciting. I even naively thought I could change him and be a positive influence. This never works. Someone has to genuinely desire to change for the sake of their own relationship with Jesus, not because they’re trying to impress someone else.
As I got into my late 20s, I asked God to change my heart, and in time, my desires changed. It became more about what God wanted for me and less about what I thought I wanted. However, when I met my husband almost three years ago, I can’t say I was fully attracted to him at first. In this case, it had nothing to do with looks since he is a handsome man, but when he told me he was a youth pastor, I hesitated.
Nothing against those who are in ministry, but I grew up in it, and while it is rewarding, it also takes its toll. It’s not for the faint of heart, and I’m sad to say I witnessed my parents being hurt by members of the churches my dad pastored. It made me wonder if I wanted to marry someone in a similar line of work. I almost didn’t give my husband a chance, but once again, the Lord guided me. He basically asked me if I found everything I ever prayed for in my husband, was I really going to pass him up because he’d been called to ministry? I had no answer and took a leap of faith. One of the best decisions I ever made.
As you can see from my story, attraction isn’t always about physical looks. It can be preferences in terms of what they do, family background, and culture, etc. What we don’t realize is that attraction can grow. Should you date someone you’re sincerely not attracted to? No, but I’m saying if you believe there’s a chance, why not see what God does? Give it three dates. Have a few conversations and see what you think. You’re simply gathering data and don’t have to decide today if you want to marry them right away. Let God reveal His will in time.
Don’t fear taking time because of your age. God can redeem whatever time you think you’ve lost. So I ask again, what’s the why behind your type? Can you be open to God’s will for your life? I’ll leave that answer to you.
Check out The Christian Singles Hub website for information on Christian matchmaking, Christian speed dating, upcoming Christian retreats, events, trips and so much more at https://thechristiansingleshub.com/
Written by Daria White Osah
You can find Daria Here:
Devotional https://www.amazon.com/Dear-Younger-Me-Devotional-Personal-ebook/dp/B09QRKBRGB/
Her podcast Single Plus https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/singleplus
& on Instagram @mysingleplus
