So you’ve been dating this person for a while, and now they ghost you. You thought your relationship would lead to engagement, but then they tell you, “This just isn’t working anymore.” Or, “I think we’re going in different directions.” This is not what you wanted to hear because you’ve had your heart set on getting married.
Whether you’re a man or woman reading this, rejection and heartbreak are never easy. You wonder what you did wrong. Why didn’t they see what you offered? What makes it worse is when you see them move on with someone else on social media. They look happy and seem to be better without you. What’s that about?
This is not what you planned, but what do you do when they leave? First, realize that you don’t always have to have closure. Give yourself closure between you and God. Okay, so it didn’t work out, but you don’t have to have an explanation. If the person agrees to talk to you, okay, but don’t blow up their phone looking for answers. It doesn’t look right at all.
Second, it does not tie your value to them. Sure, you may have shared fun times, but they’re not God. Their love can add to your life, but they’re not your source of love. God is. Release the relationship, remembering nothing is wrong with you. Yes, we can learn from our mistakes in relationships. No one is perfect, but to question who you are because someone left or changed their mind is not the way to think.
Third, God knows who is right for you. It’s interesting how we can trust God for everything else, but we worry about this area of relationships. We make sarcastic comments like, “I guess I’m going to die alone.” You don’t know that, and no, I don’t know your specific circumstance. Perhaps you are older and thought you’d have a spouse and children by now, but since when does age dictate your faith?
Let’s use the common story of Ruth and Boaz for a moment, but from another perspective. I never thought about this until now. There’s no mention of Boaz being married before he met Ruth. He was a successful businessman, showing kindness to the poor, Ruth included. When she laid at his feet, he mentioned how he was older than her and was really surprised that she chose him to be her kinsman redeemer.
How long was Boaz single before Ruth came along? How old was he? Did his Jewish neighbors and friends ask, “When are you getting married, Boaz? You’re successful. Why haven’t you found a good woman? You’re not getting any younger. Don’t you want children?” If God can bring the right woman at the right time in Boaz’s life, have faith in God for where you are.
Last, when someone leaves your life, it’s possible they were not conducive to your purpose. I heard a tree analogy that said people are leaves, branches, or roots. Leaves come and go with the seasons. The branches can last a little longer, but they can break off, especially in harsh weather. Roots, however, are deep. They’re usually solid and not easily torn away. Even if a tree splits, if the roots are strong and healthy, it can grow back. If this person was a leaf or a branch, let them go. God knows who your roots are to fulfill your purpose on earth. It’s more than romance. It’s about completing a divine assignment together.
If you feel abandoned and lonely, acknowledge those feelings to the Lord. Only He knows the truth in why the person left, but remember, He’s the constant one in your life. He’ll never leave or forsake you. He’s holding on to you and will never let you go! Even if all creation leaves you, the Creator finds you worthwhile.
Check out The Christian Singles Hub website for information on Christian matchmaking, Christian speed dating, upcoming Christian retreats, events, trips and so much more at https://thechristiansingleshub.com/
Written by Daria White Osah
You can find Daria Here:
Devotional https://www.amazon.com/Dear-Younger-Me-Devotional-Personal-ebook/dp/B09QRKBRGB/
Her podcast Single Plus https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/singleplus & on Instagram @mysingleplus
