Do you have a plan of action for when you get discouraged? Do you run to God or are there vices in your life you look to for comfort? While we can’t stop bad things from happening, we are in control of our responses. God should be our first response. Not our last resort.
So what about when you’re discouraged in your singleness? Does an engagement post trigger you? What about when the family asks, “When are you getting married?” How about friends who say, “What’s the holdup? You’re not getting any younger.” While these can be insensitive and painful, how do you respond?
Are you short-tempered and respond harshly? Do you get down on yourself and think something’s wrong with you? Do you blame God because you thought you’d have a spouse by now?
The enemy knows what buttons to push. He hits hard when he knows something discourages us because his plan is to wear us out. If he can’t get us to walk away from God, his next tactic is to tire us out.
We tire of waiting for a Godly spouse, so we’ll put up with a “situationship.” We know this person is giving us the runaround, but we’d rather take that than be alone. We know God’s Word says save sex for marriage, but we tire of hearing, “No one is going to wait with you,” so we cave in order to keep the person. Since when is sex the down payment for love? It shouldn’t be, and if someone is pressuring you for that, that’s your confirmation. They’re not the one!
So what’s your game plan? How will you respond when triggered? How will you fight back against the enemy’s tactics to wear you down?
First, acknowledge your feelings. No, we’re not led by our feelings, but we should be honest with God and ourselves. Second, if the feeling doesn’t line up with His Word, you have the power to renounce it. Third, replace it with a better thought. Write it down so you can recall it in the future. How do we do this? Practically, we can search the scriptures.
For example, if you fear being alone the rest of your life, lean on Matthew 28:20b, “… and behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age.” Also include, 2 Timothy 1:7, “For God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control.” Speak His Word over you out loud so it cancels your irrational thoughts and resonates with your spirit. Our mind believes what we tell it, whether it’s true or false, so let’s fill our minds with God’s Word.
Now you replace it with, “God, your Word says you’ll never leave me or forsake me. I’m surrounded by your love, so I’m never alone. When the enemy lies to me, help me cling to your truth.”
Is this easy? No. Will it take practice? Yes, but have a game plan for when things happen. Stay proactive in God’s Word, filling your spiritual reservoir. So when you need to draw from it, you can thrive on Jesus, the living water!
How about when responding to people? What do you say when they ask, “Why aren’t you married yet?” Or “When are you getting married?” While you don’t have to explain yourself to anyone, family or not, here is a simple answer. “God needs my undivided attention right now, so when that changes, I’ll know.” Or my favorite, “When you see a ring on my finger, you’ll know.”
Don’t feel bad for being weary. Don’t say, “I shouldn’t be discouraged because I’m a Christian and Jesus should be enough for me as a single.” Yes, Jesus is enough, but He knows you’re in a human body. You’ll get tired. You’ll get discouraged, but it’s in this moment that you cling to Him the most. Let Him into your vulnerable places so He can heal and bring relief. He’ll renew your strength when you wait on Him.
This doesn’t mean waiting isn’t difficult, but when you know He’s coming, you can trust He’ll keep His Word. He may not tell you when. He may not even tell you how, but you can trust that in time, He will!
Check out The Christian Singles Hub website for information on Christian matchmaking, Christian speed dating, upcoming Christian retreats, events, trips and so much more at https://thechristiansingleshub.com/
Written by Daria White Osah
You can find Daria Here:
Devotional https://www.amazon.com/Dear-Younger-Me-Devotional-Personal-ebook/dp/B09QRKBRGB/
Her podcast Single Plus https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/singleplus & on Instagram @mysingleplus
